


That Sudden Ghost in the Corner

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21566179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: Some days, the trauma sneaks up on you.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 125





	That Sudden Ghost in the Corner

It's been an especially terrible few days for both of them. Rafael's had two witnesses recant on a brutal, public rape by a well-connected businessman. Sonny's been working himself to the bone following leads on an attack while a girl was drunk and maybe-drugged at a house party, but no one wants to talk, and those who do talk don't remember much. 

They manage to make it home at roughly the same time. Rafael gets there first, but Sonny's texts say he's not more than ten minutes behind him. Rafael pulls the pre-prepared casserole out of the fridge and sets the oven to preheat, then goes into the bedroom to strip out of his work clothes and into the oldest, softest pajamas he owns. 

He's just pulling an ancient Harved T-shirt over his head when he hears the front door open. Before he can call out a welcome, Sonny's voice, sharp and angry, echoes down the hall. 

"--give a fuck if you want me to or not, Gina! I'm fucking exhausted, and so is Rafael, and I'm not gonna shower, put on fresh clothes, and then come down to schmooze for whatever bullshit you're calling me on last minute."

Rafael goes absolutely still in the bedroom, his whole body tensing at the growl in Sonny's voice. He suddenly feels ten again, getting out of his school clothes as his father comes home from work. Angry about something that has nothing to do with Rafael but ready to find a way to make it all Rafael's fault. 

"You want me to show up for some song and dance you're doing? You call ahead, and you deal with the fact that I might cancel," Sonny says, his voice getting louder as he comes down the hall. 

Rafael takes a step away from the bedroom door, and the back of his legs hit the bed. He drops onto it hard, still bouncing from the impact as Sonny opens the bedroom door. 

"--Because my work's been a fuck--" Sonny stops short at the sight of Rafael. Rafael doesn't know what he looks like, but it's clearly alarming. "Gina. Gina. GINA. I gotta go. I'll call you later. Love you." He ends the call and tosses his phone onto the bed next to Rafael before dropping to his knees and pressing his palms to Rafael's thighs. 

"Hey," he says, and his voice is soft and quiet. His eyebrows are pulled together in concern, and he slowly and carefully lifts one hand to press the back of it to Rafael's cheek. "Hey, you feeling okay? You're pretty pale."

Rafael can't answer right away. The whiplash from Sonny's angry tone at Gina to this soft concern makes him shake, and he feels tears in his eyes. 

"Rafael?" Sonny asks, concern coloring his voice. "What happened? Did something happen?"

"It's not--" Rafael takes a deep breath. It's shaky, and he tastes tears as they slip into his mouth. "Sorry. It isn't--"

Sonny squeezes Rafael's thigh in reassurance. "You can tell me," he says. 

"Sorry. I'm sorry." Rafael wipes an arm across his face to dry his eyes. "Sorry," he says again. Sonny still looks confused. "I'm tired," he says, even though that's not the explanation he wants to give. "And I heard you come in, but you sounded so angry, and my brain sort of...tossed me back to being a kid."

The way Sonny's whole face softens in sympathy as he realizes what Rafael is saying makes Rafael tear up again. Sonny is so gentle and kind, and even when he's angry, it's never with the sort of dangerous energy his father always carried. He very rarely aims it where it doesn't belong, but when he does, he apologizes and means it. 

"You got reminded of your dad, huh?"

"Yeah. I know you're not. You're not anything like him."

"I know," Sonny says quietly, the soft smile he gives Rafael confirming it. They've had these moments before, where something happens, and Rafael's overstressed or tired or his mood is off, and suddenly, he's feeling the fear and worry his father always bred in him. Sonny's always taken these moments in stride, calmly reassuring Rafael and listening if Rafael wants to talk. 

Sonny drops his head so he's pressing his forehead against Rafael's knees. He groans quietly when Rafael immediately strokes his hair. "I'm fucking exhausted. I shouldn't even have gotten that mad at Gina, honestly. She just hit my last nerve with acting like we'd drop everything for the thing she's hosting tonight. I'm gonna need to apologize for taking her head off."

"I'm heating up the oven for that casserole you made," Rafael says, wanting to give back a little of the support Sonny's already given him. "Get in your pajamas. We'll put the whole thing on the coffee table and just eat out of the dish with forks."

Sonny lifts his head and gives Rafael a warm, loving smile. The sort of smile he always has ready, no matter how good or bad their days go. "You're the fucking best," he says, stretching up to kiss Rafael on the mouth. 

Rafael returns the kiss, holding Sonny close for a moment afterwards to breathe in the scent of his shampoo and cologne. Doing so sends the last of the ghost of his father out of the room and out of his mind. He presses a kiss to Sonny's forehead and stands up, leaving Sonny to change while he gets the casserole in the oven.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to M for the beta, especially taking a stab at fixing a weird sentence because it helped me see what needed to get pulled from it.


End file.
